Psst... I'm bottle feeding my second child. Yes, I'm letting it be known. Formula feeding has been in effect since week three of my baby's new life. And I am at peace with not breastfeeding.
There. I've said it. I formula feed with pride. This is a shout out for all the mommas who felt like I did initially. Guilty and in the closet.
You see, I breastfed my first baby 100% until he was self-weaned at seven months old. I was brainwashed with the mantra that if I wanted to mother responsibly, breastfeeding was at the top of the list, next to making sure I had a mobile hanging over his crib.
I was told I'd be giving the gift that keeps giving: high IQ, impeccable immunity, resistant to allergies, and the big zinger: bonding with my baby, which led to faster language acquisition and baby/child connection.
Well, I'm here to tell you that I was a case study in breastfeeding from hell. I had overactive letdown, which meant baby got sprayed, I had to feed practically upside down, at a backward incline to slow the flow. Add on top of that my baby had acid reflux, and that meant no acid inducing allergens: no gluten, no pasta, no pasta, no tomatoes, no broccoli, cauliflower, beans, peas, no seasoning except salt. I lost 25 lbs in six weeks!
The outcome? TJ still got hit with a bad virus that attackes the lungs at two months and inherited a bad case of eczema at four months. Not to mention a string of every other cold that winter (no, baby was not in day care).
So, when my second baby, CJ, came on the scene and I became a mom of two boys, the thought of ditching breastfeeding crossed my mind, like a secret escape hatch in a prison cell. I told myself, if this baby has acid reflux also, and I end up going crazy trying to breastfeed with a three year old pulling at me, breastfeeding has got to go.
I placed my sanity above breastmilk.
Of course, I was racked with guilt as I even considered feeding CJ formula.
But, it turned out my decision to stop breastfeeding was eventually made for me.
CJ did end up having acid reflux, just like his brother. Crying 24x7 for 5 days straight, CJ was writhing in pain from the breastmilk. I weaned myself from all the possible allergens, but baby was still throwing up from the acid coming back up his esophogus.
After hearing baby scream and cry out of pain one too many weeks, I hesitantly switched to formula. And guess what? The lactose free formula gave my baby hours of rest and pain-free sleeping.
And that meant everything to me.
It has taken me a couple months to accept that I am doing nothing but the best for my second baby, without breastfeeding. And now that CJ is four months old, happy, giggling, babbling, and super cute, without a sneeze (no colds at all!), I know that I did the right thing.
I am happy, feeding times were quick and easy, which made the transition to having two boys smoother. I've been able to read to TJ while bottle feeding CJ easily. And big brother loves helping with feeding times, too.
Encouragement also dropped by early on when I was guilt racked about considering formula feeding, but putting having this blog post cross my path from SVMoms: Is There A Case Against Breastfeeding?
It prepared me for all the questions and "helpful" advice and comments I was sure to receive as I was out and about bottle feeding my baby. The post mentioned a journalist case study in the a journalist's case study by Hana Rosin, in the Atlantic:
"The evidence on IQs is intriguing but not all that compelling, and at best suggests a small advantage, perhaps five points; an individual kid’s IQ score can vary that much from test to test or day to day."Okay, 5 points less on his IQ. I can handle that. Heck, Hubby and I both grew up on formula in the 70's, and we didn't turn out too shabby (although Hubby still thinks I was dropped on my head as an infant).
Now, as you can see from today's posted picture, I am so comfortable with formula feeding, that I orderd a teapot of hot water just for that purpose. And bottle fed him on a lunch "date" with Hubby.A pain-free baby and a happy mommy? Thai never tasted so good.
So, next time you see a mommy bottle feeding her baby, just smile and say, "What a beautiful baby." I promise you, it will make the noon day sun shine on that mommy's heart.
And to all the formula feeding mommies out there.. You are giving the best to your baby, whenever you make a choice for a happy family, a happy baby, and a happy mommy!Are you a formula feeding mommy?
How do you feel when you see a mommy bottle feed her baby?
16 comments:
Yes. I breastfed my son the first three months. Almost immediately he had GI problems, so badly that he would scream and writhe in agony WHILE breastfeeding. I had to go on a special lactose free diet and he still had problems with reflux and other stomach problems. He would only eat small amounts at a time which, in turn, stressed me out because I had to feed him so frequently. It was screaming nonstop all day and night until finally I decided to try lactose free formula. Of course my doctor was against it, along with my mother (go figure), but I was desperate for his relief. The minute I switched him to formula his problems COMPLETELY disappeared. He is now six months old and happy as an adorable clam. Of course I felt horribly guilty, as if I was depriving him the nutrition and bonding he was meant to have and of course I missed the bonding, but he was no longer in pain and THAT was what mattered to me. So, therefore, I shrugged off the comments other mothers made when they saw me preparing a formula bottle. Mothers know best.
@JulesP: "Mothers know best." I love that line. So, true. Good for you for being confident with your decision! I was reading your comment and nodding throughout the whole thing. Congratulations on surviving and thriving.. from one GI survivor to another! ;)
My first born was both breastfed and bottlefed up to 9 months. At 7, she's very normal. My little one who's turning 23 months is still nursing up to now, much to the dismay of people I know. I think whether you breastfeed or bottlefeed, you'll always hear some snarly comments from somebody, so what's important is be comfortable of your decision because you are the one who's going to live with the consequences, not them.
@Spiritual Journey: Yeah. There always seems to be someome vocal on every side of a choice. It seems I am having to repeat that lesson over and over again, even though I thought I already learned it!
Absolutely--only you can decide what's best for you & your child.
If only all mommies would remember that! :)
I could not agree more. Sounds like we had very similar experiences and I am thrilled to see others blogging about it! Good for you for choosing what is best of you and your family rather than playing into the hype.
@TheFearlessFormulaFeeder:
It's wonderful to get so much support. Wish more people would get out and express what they really think. Me included! ;)
I struggled for a week with a baby who could not latch on, and who screamed and pushed herself away when I tried to get her to latch on. I then struggled for nearly another week with the tortuous supplemental feeding system pushed by the hospital lactivist. By day 11 or 12, I was a physical and mental wreck, and my poor baby still had not had a decent meal. I knew that if I kept this up, she was going to starve, or I was going to go over the edge (dragging her with me). The solution was obvious. I gave her a bottle of formula. And endured the contempt, the bullying, the harassment from the lactivist, my husband, and several others who made it their business to interfere. I'm proud that I stood fast, and kept myself and my baby out of the path of the breastfeeding Juggernaut.
Breastfeeding is one of the best thing which you can do to your kid but for some reasons if you can't feed your baby you can safely choose any formula but you need to ensure the age factor. Different formula feeds comes for various age groups so choose wisely.
Love this...
Thank you for putting that out there. :)
I appreciate your honesty! I breastfed one of mine for four months (something I can't always admit) and the other for almost a year. As a health professional I promote breastfeeding as the best choice--if you can. But it's a personal choice--not everyone wants to or can. The truth is, now matter how healthy it is, it doesn't work for everyone. We need to empower and support each other in whatever way we choose to feed our babies!
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