Going Down Memory Lane of Divorce

Not to alarm anyone. It's not my divorce. Sadly, a divorce I saw first hand, up close. I grew up avoiding the topic altogether, even though anyone and everyone would always ask me the same questions, "Have you seen your father? Do you miss not having a dad?"

No. And No. (This was my answer growing up. Now, I do miss having a dad, after seeing my Hubby as a loving father. I never knew what I missed out on, until it came back to me in such a beautiful way.) I never saw him after a few visits on the weekend after the split. My parents had a blow up and it was bad enough that I never laid eyes on my Dad since.

I've never allowed myself to think too much about the impact of not having a Dad. Life was too busy and I've always thought, What's the use in looking back? I couldn't wait to grow up and just get on with my life and pursue my own dreams.

But, now that I'm a mom, it's funny. Painful childhood memories keep cropping up now and then. Flashbacks to scenes in my life I thought were already over. Outtakes that have been locked away in the vault of a past life I'd lived.

I've never watched Jon & Kate plus Eight. 'Cuz c'mon. I have enough kiddie drama in my real life. I don't need reality TV to dish out anymore toddler potty training episodes filling up my free time.

But, news of their arrival in Splitville a week ago sent me back to my trial by fire as a child of divorce: the moment I was launched from an intact family, to one that crumbled into a broken up one.

I wrote a post on SVMoms about it. You can read it here: Jon & Kate's Divorce: Not Just Another Tabloid Story.

Yeah, I know there's a lot of different takes on divorce is good, divorce is bad, blah, blah, blah. But to a kid, that moment of reckoning is never easy to swallow. And that's reality.

So, I hug my TJ and CJ tightly and cover them with kisses and tickles until they scream for mercy. That's my therapy, and oh, it's a good life. I'm back in the now.