Do You Speak Toddlerese? A Glimpse into the Milky Way

I remember the moment my baby became a toddler. It happened during the evening bath. I noticed, under the suds, his baby belly wasn't there anymore. Not too long after that, I got misty missing his adorable diaper waddle, as TJ strutted around in his new Elmo speckled underpants, freshly potty trained. Thankfully, I still have one last piece of the preschool wonder years: Toddlerese.

As a three year old, TJ is extremely articulate, able to conjugate past, present and future tense. But, TJ still has remnants of babyhood in his speech. He tells me when he's on a search for lost cars, "I'm looking for sumbing". Or when I ask him what he did at preschool, TJ answers, "I played with my flends."

Every time he says one of these words, my heart just melts and I want to tickle him to death. It's just so a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e.

Toddlerese is not only learned by figuring out the semantics of their speech, though. It's a state of mind, from which their words flow. Receiving a question from a toddler is like getting a glimpse into the milky way, one of the universe's wonders.

I'll forever remember this special conversation between TJ and me. After hearing me call my mother "mama" on a number of occasions, it dawns on his toddler mind that "Poa Poa" (Chinese for Grandma) is my mommy. His brain quickly computes another data point, and he further clarifies, "And Grandma is Daddy's mommy, right?"

"Yes. That's right," I answer.

A short silence. Then, a question reverberates from TJ Toddler Universe: "Mommy... why don't you and Daddy live with your mommies?"

I explain. "Well, when kids become grown ups, they get to live in their own house. They don't live with their daddies and mommies anymore. And if they find someone special, they get married and have their own kids and live with them."

I was happy to start inserting thoughts of independance into his little world. My scheme to launch him into the Grown-Up Universe at eighteen years of age was beginning it's early stages.

"WWWWAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

Wailing and tormented cries erumpt from the toddler universe. A total frowny face contorts my troubled son's countenance. His brow is furrowed with sorrow, and his voice trembles as I ask him, "What's wrong, sweetie?!"

"BUT, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HERE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH ANYONE ELSE! I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU & DADDY F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!!!"

Big, fat crococodile tears make their treks down the sweetest of angel faces. Underneath my tough talking pirate, car crashing speed devil, my baby still lived and thrived.

I drop down to the ground, scoop his long, gangly legs, once chubby and stubby, onto my lap. Rocking him, I offered words of reassurance, "It's okay, it's okay. Don't you worry about anything like that. You'll be living here for a long, long time.."

As his sobs calmed to whimpers, TJ shouts, like a gold miner hitting pay dirt."I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!"

"What?!"

"I know how I can stay here forever... I will marry YOU! Then, I'll never leave here!"

A big happy smile lights up TJ's eyes again. A crisis averted, he wipes the tears from his face and I get a tissue to blow his nose.

I wanted to remain his one true love forever, but I know I wouldn't be keepin' it real. So, I gently reassure him, "Well, I don't think anyone marries their mommy. But, don't you worry, we'll figure something out, okay?! .. C'mon. I think we might have some ice cream around here. You wanna ice cream cone, sweetie?"

"Yeah," TJ pauses a bit. Hoping he'll just forget about the whole growing up thing for now, I rise up with his hand in mine, as I lead him to the fridge.

"Yeah, Mommy... I think ice cream will make me feel better... I love you."

I love you, too, TJ.

All is good in Toddler Universe once more.