Recommendation: Baby Sleep & Soothing Baby Books

To go with my post today about sleep (or lack thereof), I wanted to post my two MUST HAVE tools of the trade for helping babies and toddlers sleep/nap better and colicky ones to be less fussy.

Okay, so for all the experienced parents out there, this post may be preaching to the choir. But for the parents who have colicky babies (like I did), who want a step by step guide to when and how to sleep a baby and toddler, these are what I call my "survival guides" for sleeping and sanity!

Book #1: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth

Why I recommend this book:

1) This book saved my sanity with my first child, who was one of the 5% of babies who have extreme fussy/colic.

What this means is that none of the moms in my mom support groups -- 20 moms -- had to deal with what my baby had for *6* months, which was crying around the clock and the inability to fall asleep and stay asleep.

It was painful to be told,"You're stressed, so the baby is feeling it too!" or "keep him awake longer and he'll be tired and fall asleep" or another of the common non-solicited advice was "Put the baby on a schedule." Yes, I did try the stroller. And I did try driving the car to help in sleep. And yes, I tried the binky, the swing, and etc. And no, they all did not work.

The book relieved me of all guilt because it said that some babies' sleep maturation just doesn't start until 5-6 months and that those babies canNOT be consoled, no matter what you do (or don't do). His advice? Just keep holding, rocking and do whatever it takes to minimize fussiness, even if it still leads to crying. And wait until 5-6 months before sleep training (which the book describes step by step). By the time TJ was 9 months old, he was sleeping through the night, all the way even to his 3rd birthday.

2) With my second child, who is one of the 90% of easy, common fussy babies, I was able to learn that babies can only be awake 1-2 hours (max) throughout the day. And they should be napped within 30 minutes for some. It gave me confidence to know I wasn't doing anything wrong by getting my baby to sleep all the time, even if it wasn't convenient for guests who wanted to play with the baby during their visit.

It was also very helpful to know that the first 3-4 months, I can expect that baby would wake up 2-3 times at night. And there wasn't anything I could really do to get the baby to "sleep through the night" other than waiting for the baby's natural sleep maturation process. It is the exception that babies would sleep through the night by 2-3 months, NOT the norm.

So, when I get those questions launched at me or unsolicated advice to get baby to sleep longer at night, I quietly know better, smile and thank them for their kind words.

Book #2, Happiest Baby on the Block, by Harvey Karp:

Why I recommend this book:

1) It tells how-to five secret tricks to get baby to stop fussing and crying. Dr. Karp calls them the five S's:

- Swaddling
- Side/Stomach
- Sucking
- Shushing
- Swinging

Both my babies needed the swaddling in order to stay calm and get whatever sleep they could catch. Swaddling may not seem "nice" to the untrained eye and conventional wisdom might lead some to think that babies should be "free". But, in fact, newborns want the security of being cuddled close to prevent their arms and legs from flailing, and swaddling definitely provides that needed comfort.

2) It explains that the first 3 months are called the "4th trimester" and really helped us set realistic expectations. Babies are not gurgling, coo'ing, and giving Kodak moments around the clock during the first months.

Even with my second child, I have turned to these books for reference on almost a daily basis. Each baby is different, so I've focused on different parts of the back that apply. I call the Weissbluth book my "sleep bible" because I read it every night, to encourage me to keep up the sleep training day by day!