Letter to TJ: When I Got Mad at My Toddler

I got mad at TJ the other day ... Here is a letter I wrote to him about that priceless moment:

You know, TJ. I really haven't gotten mad at you up to this point. Of course, I've been upset, stressed out and frustrated over your terrible two temper tantrums. And sure, I've wanted to jump off a bridge more than a few times. But, I've always blamed it on your "toddler hormones" flaring up.

You've gotten a pass because, even though it feels like you are trying to kill me by throwing yourself on the floor, screaming, crying, whining, and making messes non-stop throughout the day, it's really not you. You are just frustrated by what you aren't able to do. It's not your fault that you don't understand that when you try to hook a gazillion trains together, they just aren't gonna make it down a descending track. They're gonna fall into pieces. But, you're just two years old. You haven't grasped the fact that you are not all powerful.

And you also don't understand the purpose of boundaries and limits. I mean, I really can empathize. How are you to understand why you can't do what you want, when you want, and how you want? You were born doing exactly that from day one.

But, okay, kiddo. You are now 2.5 and you can talk. I mean, you are so good at speaking, that you negotiate with Daddy and me every day, several times a day - whether it's about eating, sleeping, napping, playing, snacks, tv, bedtime stories, bath time.. the list never ends. I know that you know what you are doing, dude!

So, today, when I told you specifically not to touch or pull down the kiddie table and chairs that I put up on the sofa THREE times, and you still did it THREE times, I started getting mad. It's not hormones at this point, TJ. You were really just being disobedient, buster!

It's really for your safety. Because if you pulled down the table and chairs, they would come crashing down and crack your head open. You could really get hurt! You have always minded me about this and you have never gone near it when I've asked you not to. It's been a regular bi-weekly, routine, as I clear the floors for the cleaners to mop and vaccuum.

But today, you were adamantly challenging me, looking straight at me, and grabbing to pull the furniture down the same second I just asked you not to!

I decided to flash you my "You better not touch that or else you are gonna get SSSSOO in trouble!" Never mind that I had no idea what I would do to you, if you disobeyed me because Daddy and I do not hit you. We do not spank. I could give you a time out, but that's a "regular, everyday consequence." I needed something more serious as a consequence, because if you didn't listen to me, you could really get hurt.

As I gave you my best "evil eye", a really confused expression came over your face.

"Mommy," you began to ask, eyes full of concern, "What happened to your face?! Why does it look so bad?"

I couldn't help, but bust out laughing, spray launching into the air. You really haven't a clue, do you? It didn't matter. Your face brightened and broke out in a happy smile. With some forced chuckles, you attempt to fain laughter, just to join me in the moment.

"What so funny, Mommy?" You ask, wanting in on the joke.

"Oh, nothing, TJ. You're just too funny." I smile, as I pick you up and move you safely away from the furniture.

Love,
Mommy

The Best Fresh Strawberry Pie

On my last post, I mentioned I'd bake a Fresh Strawberry and Blueberry Pie on July 4th. Happily, it turned out really well. It looked great and everyone was oohing and aaahing over it, appearing very much in a dessert trance, as we ate it. I was praying there'd be an extra piece left, even though the times I've served it, there was none.

I don't say this to garner any praise from y'all for my baking skills. It's really all about finding the recipe, isn't it?

Finding the right recipe makes all the difference in the world. Because one could be easy and quick, while another may take be complicated and take a long time. As an extra added wonderfulness, I found a recipe that doesn't call for a lot of extra gooey thickeners or gelatin to cover naturally sweet and yummy strawberries. Instead, this recipe uses a strawberry puree to help set the strawberries onto the crust. (Hmmm.. Doesn't it sound good already?)

I found the recipe for "Summer Berry Pie" in The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook and made it work for strawberries.

Just use 6.5 cups of strawberries, instead of the berries. 2.5 cups for the puree and the remaining 4 cups for the filling.

For July 4th spark, I added a handful of blueberries to make it a Red, White and Blue affair.)

I usually make the crust in the morning, ahead of time, so that it cuts down on the prep time later when I actually make the pie.

I also wash and hull the strawberries in the morning (I wrap the berries in paper towel to soak up the water and refrigerate it).

Because it takes 3 hours to chill once made, I make the pie in the afternoon. I make the strawberry filling and pour into the pie crust. Voila, it's ready for a dinner dessert later in the evening!

7/9 Update: I had to remove the recipe from this post. America's Test Kitchen PR contacted me and asked me to take down the recipe. They have very strict guidelines to post a recipe on line, and I would need permission to use it. They do have the recipe on their site, but you have to be a "Premium Member" to view it. Sorry!

If you're itching for a new cookbook anyways, I totally recommend the ATK Family Cookbook for your collection. I've made more than a handful of recipes there and haven't been disappointed. I especially like the tips they have in it.

And of course, getting it for the Strawberry Pie recipe is almost worth it. ;) .. A least for this strawberry pie lover. The recipe's so good, it cured me of my addiction to Marie Calendar's Fresh Strawberry Pie.

If you have a favorite Strawberry pie recipe, post a comment to let us know where you found it picture of it on your site, leave us a url. I'd love to check it out!

Any Excuse Graham Cracker Crust

I love graham crackers. Even as an adult, I've always had them stocked in the pantry. I love the way they crunch and they taste honey sweet. I never outgrow them.

And now that it's summer .. Oh, boy, I can't wait for an excuse to make a dessert that calls for a graham cracker crust. Of course, the first pie that comes to mind is my Favorite Fresh Strawberry Pie. When I was single and needed to bring a dessert to a friend's for potluck, I would grab a pre-made crust at the store for speed and ease.

Now that I'm a mom, I actually chose to bake it. It only take 10 minutes to grind up the graham crackers and then I pop it in the oven. So fast, and my goodness, the aroma of the baking graham cracker crust, really brings a smile to everyone in the house. Plus, it really does make the pie 100% more home-made delicious.

Baking now, as a mom, is not for convenience sake. Baking now is a guilty pleasure, to steal some time to get lost in the steps of a recipe, work with my hands, and smell something delicious drifting into the air.

Most pie crusts can be made in advance, so that would also cut down on pie making time.

7/9 Update: I had to remove the recipe from this post. America's Test Kitchen PR contacted me and asked me to take down the recipe. They have very strict guidelines to post a recipe on line, and I would need permission to use it. They do have the recipe on their site, but you have to be a "Premium Member" to view it. Sorry!

Graham cracker crusts are generally really easy and super fast, so if you have a cookbook, I'm sure your recipe will do just fine.

If you happen to bake one, post a comment me and lemme know how it turns out, 'k?

Happy July 4th - I'm Getting Sentimental

Life as a mom is so busy and demanding. But on July 4th, life as a mom is simple. Get out the Slip 'N Slide, call a few friends for a BBQ and ahhhh .. ice cold beer.. (for the adults, of course).

Culturally, July 4th is the apple pie of American holidays (although Thanksgiving might arguably come in as a close second or vie for the title). High school girls swirling batons in formation, strong spirited veterans walking proudly down Main Street, and countless faces made up of parents, children, singles, young and old, line up for the traditional July 4th parade.

For dessert, I'm gonna make a special July 4th Fresh Strawberry and Blueberry Pie, topped with whipped cream to salute the Red, White and Blue. I made sure to hit the supermarkets a day earlier to get all the ingredients lined up. So the first thing I do, after my cup of coffee and toast, is to put on my apron and do some home lovin' baking!

I'm looking forward to introducing TJ to this wonderful slice of Americana. But most of all, I hope to truly introduce July 4th to my son as Independence Day: tell him how our country was born and why it came to be. It is a glorious story, and I am unabashedly sentimental about it.

I confess I get gushy about anything that would smack of patriotism - loving "Hollywoodized" war movies like Saving Private Ryan, life changing documentaries like The War about World War II (you've GOT to see if you haven't. Only people who experienced WWII first hand were interviewed. No analysts or historians), or intriguing history biographical documentary "The American President".

Although TJ is an American citizen by birth, my hope is that being American will mean more than just the country printed on his birth certificate. I hope he will take all that is the best of America and live in freedom of her values: her optimism, her sense of justice and integrity, and her conviction of faith.

I am not naive. I know our country has our share of troubles and imperfections. But imperfections don't mar the beauty of what our country stands for. We love, we dream and we hope. With freedom, we can express our love, our dreams and are hopes and find our way and chart our path.

Now, I'm not saying I get sentimental like this every July 4th. And I don't have own one article of clothing that has the American Flag stitched on it to wear to the parade.

But, I particularly feel appreciative this year about Independence Day. I don't want to regurgitate it all here, but you can check out my post about it on Silicon Valley Moms Blog: "A Mother's Musing on July 4th".

I hope you have a wonderful time with friends and family celebrating Independence Day!

Happy with Hands-Free Cell Phone Law

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty happy about the new hands-free cell phone law that went into affect yesterday. I've had too many close calls out on the road because drivers who can't put down their cell phones.

On a good day, it's a swervy car, nearly side swiping into me as they drift into my lane with a phone stuck to their ear. On not-so-good days, I've seen drivers run through red lights, obliviously chatting away with one hand on the steering wheel with another propping up their hand-held cell phones. I get an uneasy, queasy feeling whenever that happens. What if I hadn't waited those few seconds before stepping on the gas right when my light turned green?

Well, I needed to get a new phone in preparation for the new hand-free cell phone law that just went into effect on July 1st in California.

My current cell phone had been dropped one too many times. It was a Motorola Razor. The sleek new model. But, it's just wasn't a practical choice for me. It's just too thin, and I'd lose my grip with it too easily. Plus, I'd have to flip it open every time to answer the phone.

As I looked for a hand held model that didn't require me to flip it open to answer, I learned the latest cell phone style is the "slider models". It just slides open with a nudge.

Cool. I hope it lasts longer than my other cell phones. I collected my old, broken cell phones from around the house (TJ plays with them), spread them out on the lawn. Lo, and behold, I have a cell phone to represent each year of being a mom:

Prenatal Year: Nokia (most durable - had it for few years)
TJ's Infant Year: Sony Ericsson (cheapest model - Flip Phone - poor sound quality)
TJ's Toddler Year: Motorola Razor (Flip Phone - way too fragile)
TJ's 2nd Year: Samsung (Slider Phone)

I ended up getting a really good deal at Costco for the Samsung, better than buying directly online from AT&T ($19.99 plus free carrying case + car adapter vs. $29.99 with no accessories).

One strange thing about this new law, though. It's definitely a good move for safety. According to an article in the San Jose Mercury News, "more than 4,000 people die in traffic accidents each year.." The state expects the hands-free law will decrease this number to 300.

But, it also said the new law does NOT include text messaging, which is more dangerous than talking on the phone. And this text messaging is what teenagers do driving!

Strange they didn't make text messaging in the car illegal too. So, watch out for teens out there on the road..