What's So Bad About Minivans?

A couple months ago, I got the chance to do something I hadn't done in a long while. I couldn't wait to do it again (not). I was dreading it every step of the way. Yep, I got to buy a car at my local friendly dearlership (cough, cough).

I thought I had seen my share of bad experiences duking it out during the car pricing negotiations, but nothing prepared me for what happened. You'd think I'd get better treatment since I was the one who would be driving the car! But, nope. I had the ultimate run-in with Mr. Car Salesman, just because I was a mom.

You won't believe what happened to me! I was so upset by it, I wrote a blog post on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog: "The Car Buying Homemaker".

Well, if you're curious as to how things ended up. The ending couldn't have been sweeter. Mr. Car Salesman eventually called us back, and I got the price I wanted.

Okay, now comes Part II of this latest car buying experience in this crazy world of modern day motherhood... Ready for this?...

A mommy friend of mine and I were catching up on the phone, trying to exchange as much info as possible before our little ones started squawking for us to get off the phone. I quickly mentioned, "Hey, I almost forgot to tell you. Have I told you? .. No, I don't think so... I got a new car?! And you'll never guess what happened to me.. "

I took a quick breath, getting ready to tell the whole dramatic story of Mr. Car Salesman and how I got the car at such a juicy sweet price.

"WHAT d-i-d you get?!" my friend intercepted.

"I got an SUV! The Acura MDX." I quickly drew in a breath again, getting ready to launch into the pricing showdown play by play.

"Get outta here! You never mentioned you're gonna get an SUV. I thought you were gonna get a minivan?!"

I was 99.99% sure I wanted a minivan because of the ease of getting in and out with the sliding doors. Not only that, since I work with fabrics in my business, I wanted to humongous cargo space. Because I am always hauling rolls and rolls of fabric around, as well as samples to and from the manufacturer, I would use the van for business purposes as well.

"Oh, yeah, we were totally gonna buy a minivan, the Honda Odyssey. We had already test drove it and went dealership hopping. We decided to eat lunch to finalize the decision, when I told Hubby, 'What the heck, we don't want an SUV, but let's just test drive it to cross it off our list'... And voila, I ended up LOVING the smooth ride and amazingly comfy seats. And it handled like a dream."

The cargo space, with the seats folded down, was more than plenty. And the MDX has a 3rd row, to fit 8 passengers.

"Well, thank God, Bonnie! I didn't say anything because you seemed dead set on getting a minivan. But, I am SSSSOOO glad you got the SUV instead. I wouldn't be caught dead driving a minivan?"

"Really?.. Why not?" I was totally puzzled.

"Well, it's just not my style. I'm just so glad you changed your mind."

Okay, can someone fill me in on what is so bad about driving a minivan? It is totally, completely practical in my mind, if you have more than one kid. And the minivans are so plush these days.

This is weird. Is there some unspoken mommy style "in crowd" culture that I don't know about? It would seem the minivan would be a dream to drive, especially on family roadtrips - room for everyone and all the gear, food, and stuff!

My Brain is a Sieve

Why are the cabinets under the sink are empty, you ask? No, we're not moving. And no, there wasn't a break-in committed at our house. There is a logical explanation to why all the drawers have been pulled out and everything is gone.

You see, my brain is to blame. I'm always fighting to go against the mommy stereotypes I had often heard about in my pre-mom days. Mommy brain is the term I heard thrown around when my friends would forget to call me back or return my emails. C'mon, I thought, how hard can it be to just click "Reply" and shoot a quick email. Or redial on the cell phone?

Before you tell me I was loser friend, lemme tell you. I'm getting it all back in spades. My brain is no longer a sponge. I can't even remember my Hubby's cell phone. I've got to hit speed dial to get his phone ringing.

I think my brain's final transformation from sponge to sieve was timed to coincide with the first rite of summertime: hitting the swimming pools.

TJ finally got to sport his new Thomas The Tank Engine swim trunks. A day later, I realized I forgot to wash them when I peeled them off him. So now they smelled a bit like dried chlorine.

And what I love to do often is what I call "soaking". Soaking is my secret household weapon that Hubby continually finds baffling.

"Can I help wash these dirty dishes in the sink?" Hubby likes looking at an empty, cleaned up sink.

"They're soaking. I'll get to them." Soaking is used when I'm multi-tasking around the house.

"Um, what about this wet shirt in the bathroom sink?" Hubby hollers from upstairs.

"Yeah, those are soaking too." Oh, shoot. I need to scrub that stain out before it actually disintegrates the one shirt I love.

"But, weren't they soaking here earlier this morning?" Uh.. oops.

Yeah, I know soaking should only take a few minutes, maybe ten minutes top. But, I've got so much juggling around in my head that I sometimes forget. Wait a minute. What was I just about to do? I mean, every time I try to make a dent in what needs to get done, I turn around and TJ is getting into something. So my queue of things to-do is always growing.

It's a lot like playing the advanced level of Tetris. All the odd shaped L and T bricks are raining down like dogs and cats. There's just no way to lay them on perfectly in the right places.

Except this time, things really didn't end right.

Game Over flashed across my mind when I heard a traumatic cry of SOS. "BOOOOONNNNNNIIIEEE! COME HERE QUICK!!!!!"

"What is it?!" I quickly put the last pair of TJ's Cars underwear in this drawer and closed it shut. I start making my way to our bedroom.

O-M-G! It's the Niagra Falls in our master bedroom sink! I FORGOT TO TURN THE WATER FAUCET OFF while I was "soaking" TJ's swim trunks! AAAAHHHH!!

It was like a scene from one of those family comedies. Except this was not a movie. Water was spilling everywhere, into the bottom cabinets with inches of water filling up. Q-tips floating around, my cotton balls were saturated ballooning with water, and packets of travel-sized tissue were bobbing around. And our carpets, drenched and wet.

It took Hubby and me an entire morning to clean out the mess and a full day plus to dry it out. There were 3 garbage bags worth of casualty. Years and years worth of cosmetic samples I never used and stuck in my drawers and make-up that dated back to my wedding. Not to mention, a bunch of other stuff that needed to be left out to dry. I hope I don't get electrocuted when I plug that hair dryer in.

So, the lessons learned? Don't soak swim trunks because the material is not water permeable. Other stuff? Don't worry. A few minutes soak time should be just fine.

Book Review: Writing Motherhood

Welcome to Just Peachy Baby's first book review! There is so much to write about from everyday life as mom that I've had my hands full trying to blog about motherhood moments. But, I can't help but want to tell you about a book that just came out on paperback, Writing Motherhood, by Lisa Garrigues.

I have read quite a number of books on journaling, writing memoirs, and just plain writing. But, they have all left me feeling not-good-enough or just intimidated by all the do's and don'ts. Reading is tied as the 3rd love of my life (with writing). Because of that, I am often frozen by the fear that I can't write to my own expectations of being a "good read". I'll say things to myself like, "Ugh. That was sappy and sentimental." or "How trite is that? Don't you have anything original to say?"

Reading Writing Motherhood didn't spawn any of these critics in my head. I cracked the book open, braced myself, and found inspiring voices speaking to me as I turned each page.

Here are the things I found myself saying as I read Lisa's book:

* I have doubts that I have anything meaningful to say. But, I am not alone. Writing is an "avenue for personal growth". I don't have to be afraid of "what (I) might discover along the way."

* Don't think too much about how the writing will turn out. Just zoom in and write what I see. From Lisa's ABC's of writing: " 'Z' - Zoom in on your life. Writers, like photographers, examine the world as if through a magnifying lens.. When you write, go for the close-up, not the panoramic view. Zoom in on your subject with a magnifying lens and write down exactly what you see."

* My real hang-up with finding time to write is really my problem with pleasure. Writing for me should no longer be a nice-to-do any more. Writing "is about reclaiming (my) right to pleasure and wholeness.. Self-nurture is about much more than treating ourselves to a nice movie or pleasant massage once in a while. It requires us to make strong statements to loved ones about our limits, boundaries and needs." (Lisa's quote of Alice Domar and Henry Dreher)

Lisa has taught Writing Motherhood groups, helping moms write about the moments that inspire them, that they want to capture and pass on. I haven't met Lisa, but by the time I finished the book, she had somehow become a guide to my writing experience, pointing out things that motivated me to keep writing.

If you're looking for a book to inspire and motivate you to start or keep writing, I think you'll enjoy this read.

We had a book review day on Silicon Valley Moms Blog for "Writing Motherhood". So, feel free to check out what other writers had to say about it as well!

When Following the Rules Has Gone Too Far

So, I'm worried. I have over trained TJ. Seriously. I think I have overdone it on training my 2.5 year old to follow the rules. We went to a birthday party a couple weekends ago, and TJ got to smack his first pinata. A treasure chest filled with tooth decaying, sugar-high enabling candy. Lots of it. When a kid eventually hit the jackpot, I anticipated TJ to be lunging and clawing to horde his share of every kid's dream and every parent's nightmare.

What happened, instead, caused me grave concern. TJ took one Tootsie roll and walked over and said, "Look, Mommy! I got candy!" I rarely give TJ candy. When I do, I always tell him, "You can only pick ONE." And if he were to cry and whine, I'd threaten,"Well, TJ. You can have one or none.. " And of course, after a few rounds of this, TJ is smart. He chooses one.

Except this is a party! I didn't think it was "normal" for a kid to turn down all that candy. "Go back, TJ and pick another one! You can get more!" I urge him, anxious for all the Jolly Ranchers that were being snatched up by the second.

I leap forward, helping him get some. "Here, TJ." I hand him some pieces. What does he do? He drops his Tootsie Roll and exchanges it for one piece of candy from my hand.

Man, I'm such a loser Mom. I'm gonna ruin him for life now. He'll be that weird kid that doesn't eat candy.

That does it. I'm repenting. Next time, TJ goes to get his hair cut and the nice lady gives him a lollipop, I'm not gonna have him trade it for a bag of graham crackers I bring along. I promise. He can have the whole lollipop. We'll just brush your teeth afterwards, 'k TJ?

I Want a Wii Fit Now.. Uh-Oh

Oh, boy. What am I gonna do? I've been burying my head in the sand when it has come to video games. I am not gonna get addicted like my other friends who dream of becoming the ultimate Guitar Hero, I've told myself. Hey, even my thirty-something sister and her boyfriend at the time have spent hours into the late night playing video games. Don't young people want to go out and do something else except stare at a screen punching like crazy on their game consoles?

Wow. Don't I sound like an old geezer. But, now the tide has turned. Gosh, it's embarrassing.

I totally want the Wii Fit! Wii recently threw a party to introduce Ninetendo's latest technology feat for a bunch of the Silicon Valley Mom Bloggers at CityMama's home.

No, I didn't go for the delicious fruit smoothies they made for us. And it wasn't even for the cool spread we were treated to (I love pita and hummus!).

I went because we got to try it the Wii Fit. And now, I'm in trouble. 'Cuz I am so hooked.

The Wii Fit is interactive play that could help me keep fit while having fun. I am very competitive by nature, so the fact that all the activities are about measuring performance and scoring points is very motivating for me. I also like that offers different levels of difficulty and keeps track of where I'm at.

I live here in Silicon Valley, so I have to say I'm a bit desensitized to high tech claims of products. But, I was SO impressed with really how high tech the Wii Fit is. It shows me in real time how I'm doing with my yoga stretches, with a visual on how well I'm into a stretch. And it also is super sensitive to how I'm standing or shifting my weight, as I do the balancing strengthening exercises. It even knew if I was wiggling my toes!

The thing that really sealed the deal for me though was how much I laughed going through all the aerobic exercises. They are really funny games that really make you laugh. I was a penguin trying to jump around on an iceberg, swallowing fish flying in the air in one game and next I was the goalie in the soccer game getting old shoes shot at my head! (I LOVED soccer as a tomboy and could out dribble any boy in school :)! It felt GOOD to laugh and be silly, while keeping fit.

Anyways, now I'm at a dilemna, 'cuz I really wanted our house to be a video free zone. I don't like the thought of TJ whining and harrassing me to play video games for hours on end. And I don't want him lost from earth if I lose him to video game addiction.

But, I want a Wii Fit now .. The price for a Wii Fit I know is reasonable for video games nowadays. But, it's definitely a Christmas gift or a very special birthday gift.. maybe. We'll see.

But, yep, I woke up the next day sore in all the right places.. It actually works! Now, I can't get the Wii Fit out of my mind.

Blogging for Passion, Money or Both?

So, I've been checking out different blogs since I started my blog. I started blogging because I've always loved writing. Now that I'm a mom with only chopped up chunks of time to myself, blogging is the perfect way to get myself detoxed from the stresses of the day.

You know, it's just not that easy to just call up a girlfriend and gab. And don't even think about "grabbing a cup of coffee" unless that means getting it to go, with TJ getting the wiggles in line at Starbuck's (I was a true blue Pete's Coffee drinker, but it's WAY too quiet in there with a toddler. I literally get dirty looks shot my way the few times I've been there). Now, dont' get me wrong, I do get out to have early morning coffee and dinners with girlfriends. But you know, it's just not spontaneous. Like when you need it most to vent, muse, or just talk about whatever.

So voila! Blogging became the (3rd) love of my life. (What are the other 3? .. Well, gotta retain SOME mystery, dont' I? :) .. Naw, in time, you'll read all about it eventually.. )

So, I've been practicing and learning the craft of blogging. There's clearly an infinite number of ways to blog, all unique to your own personality. But, for some moms like me, who are juggling ways to take care of family and finances, there is always the question of whether a blog could potentially make money.

Everyone has different opinions about this of course. But, after reading my friend Vered's post about this topic on MomGrind, I didn't realize that people could have such strong emotional reactions to bloggers who do decide to monetize, after they have a successful following of readers.

I think all successful bloggers come to this crossroad - to monetize or not to monetize. If they have nurtured an audience through writing quality posts and through lots of hard work, I don't see anything wrong with getting compensated for the work. BUT.. you know with money, comes the temptation to dethrone a great blogger's first priority: passionate, unbiased opinions without care for any sponsors, advertisers or potential advertisers!

I think that is the most dangerous lure of monetization. There is a important distinction between the goal of blogging well and reaping the benefits of good blogging. If a writer is motivated by mainly by money, I think sooner or later, the inspiration to write is gonna run dry or the posts are gonna go down on quality.

But, if a writer's motivation is to remain true to one's passions, then making money through sponsors who support freedom of your thoughts, then great!

My personal opinion and a guideline that I apply towards life in general is to lead by passion and the rest will fall into place. If my heart is not in it, it wouldn't matter if I made money or not.

Because the truth is, money does have the power to bring freedom for one person, while it can also threaten freedom for another. Money in and of itself is not bad. The deciding factor on money's influence is it's amount of influence and persuasion on motivation and inspiration.

This is not to say I don't struggle with the misplacement of money in the list of priorities. For me, I can worry quite a bit about it, living in Silicon Valley, with the high cost of living and narrow margins. But, worrying about it has never has done a bit of good. So, it's a daily balancing act of focusing on what gives me passion in life and keeping worry about finances always in it's right place: out of my life!

Hives, Hives, Hives!

Oh, man it's been too long since I've posted. It's not because I haven't wanted to. I've definitely been experiencing the effects of blogging withdrawal.

Well, for one thing I've been super busy with working on a new line organic cart covers for Just Peachy Baby. Although I've released an initial set of 3 colors, having the fabrics custom made, with custom dyeing too a lot of back and forth -- and everything in between. There was a lot of woman-hours working on putting these three organic versions together!

After pushing through many late nights, my organic "babies" were born. Yes, it took a lot of labor, but it was a labor of love. I would've chalked it all crazy busy days as another day in the life of a small business owner.. except this time, I got HIVES!

Hubby and I had just gone out on a date and we were in high spirits. An evening off being together is always great. But, as I got ready for bed, I noticed splotches of red bumps appearing all over the front and back of my body!

What?! My first thought was, "Okay, it was probably the lamb I ate at that new Afghan place tonight." But, as another hour passed, the welts went from itching, to burning, to swelling up in large masses. Okay, now I was really freaking out!

Usually if I have an allergic reaction, it has been bumps and rashes. But, I've never had this happen to me. I mean hives all over my scalp and even down to my legs, on the soles of my hands and feet (Have I grossed you out, yet?) ;)

That night, I couldn't sleep until 3am, from the sheer pain of the hives.

That was just the beginning of many weeks of agony, without knowing why I have the hives. It's very hard to pinpoint, since you don't want to try all the things that could've caused hives, and plunge you back into a new round of hives. (And yep, there are no sick days off for being a mom!)

Even now, I'm scratching and itching as I write this post. It's a little better now. But, I'm praying every night I go to sleep, that I'll wake up the next day with no more hives.

My doctor told me that it takes time for the body to recover from hives, time for the immune system to shut down whatever's causing the hives. For some it could be days, weeks, or even months. And for some chronic cases, years!

Terrible, huh? I am getting better now, after some weeks. I'll never take being scratch-free for granted after this episode... So, here I am back in the saddle!