A Peachy Mommy's Christmas List

As I was driving to the mall to finish my Christmas shopping, I was calculating how much time I had to accomplish my mission before it was TJ's nap. Just as I was figuring out which stores I'd hit first, a song came on "My Grown-up Christmas List", sung by Kelly Clarkson. In the past, I never really took to this song (kinda long-winded and too drawn out for my taste). But for some reason, listening to lyrics, it caught my attention this time.

I started thinking, you know, I'm a mom now. I wonder whether my Christmas list has changed? It sure has. It used to be a list of stuff I'd hope to get Christmas morning. Now, it includes a splatter of practical items (oh, yuck, I sound like a mom! Ewee!). It was also pretty random. Some that can be bought while others can't.

My Peachy Mommy Christmas List:

1. A Christmas that is stress-free and cold-free for the whole family.

2. That both hubby and I will really decompress from the dailyness of life and enjoy time off.

3. A Christmas that would be family drama-free.

4. A soft and snowy white sweater from Banana Republic.

5. That my line of hip & stylish shopping cart covers for Just Peachy Baby will continue to be a success in 2009, so that I can continue to be a WAHM.

6. A new pair of Pumas to run around in during my mommy workweek.

7. Some rest from taking care of TJ since hubby will be home.

8. Time and energy to purge out old things around the house and be clutter-free for 2008.

9. Evenings with hubby to snuggle by an open fire and sip hot chocolate with peppermint Schnapps.

10. TJ will really open his heart to Christmas and that the celebration of Christmas songs, stories, and traditions will bring joy to his little two-year old world.

Merry Christmas to all the Peachy Mommies out there!

Peachy Moment: Christmas Without Mom

Yesterday, I invited my neighbor and her little ones over to make Christmas cutout cookies with TJ. I've been dying for this day to come since I was pregnant with TJ -- visions of cute little hands shaking sprinkles onto all the fun holiday shapes, us side by side in our respective mommy and son aprons. It was pure fun and of course, pure toddler two year old mess. But, when the cookies came out, one of the cookies, a gingerbread boy cutout didn't quite come out right.

For one thing, the gingerbread boy's right arm broke off as I tried to transfer him onto the cooling rack. Rolling out the dough with a two year old who wants to "do it by myself", I could only slip in a few "helpful" rolls, which meant mister gingerbread's arm was a bit too thin. And if you look closely, you'll also notice that the cookie looks a bit pale, missing the molasses brown you'd expect. Since TJ was my baking assistant, we took our sweet time and had fun making the dough. We only had time to make the sugar cookie recipe before the neighbor kids arrived.

The cookies were delicious and practically all were gobbled up. Except one. As the gingerbread boy sat alone on a small,white plate, Saran-wrapped, I couldn't help but feel sad about this Christmas. The gingerbread boy that wasn't quite right reminded me of my Christmas that also looks broken in one part, crumbled, and a bit off color. It' not because because I want a perfect cookie. It's because my mom won't be coming for Christmas.

No, my mom doesn't live far away. She lives less than ten miles from me. And no, it's not because she's fallen ill or passed away. She married young and had me when she was seventeen. No, there's nothing physically wrong that is keeping us apart.

But, there are some complicated and difficult emotional barriers between us. A wall that has been getting harder to penetrate, especially since I got married and had a baby. Mom and daughter relationships are often portrayed in movies and books as loving, nurturing and beautiful. Close and intimate. It has always been hard growing up feeling like I was the only one who was an exception to this rule. But, now as an adult, having met more women who also hurt and struggle from strained or broken relationships with their mother, I have come to realize that it is not uncommon.

Still, it hurts. Although I know in my head that I'm not the only one with this type of problem, I feel alone in my predicament. Within my immediate circle of girlfriends, their moms are there for them. Whether for wedding planning or helping out that first month of having a newborn, I look on with longing at what my friends have. Around Christmas time, the impact of having a disengaged mom in my life during holidays hits me hard, and I get sad.

At Christmas, everyone talks about their favorite mom's holiday recipe for scalloped potatoes or looking forward to mom's pie, cookies, or any number of desserts. And especially since I have a little one, my heart aches for TJ, wishing he could enjoy the kind of hugs from his maternal grandma that squeezes so tightly, that even his little boy wiggles couldn't escape.

Although I'm sentimental and very much a romantic, I didn't grow up outside of reality. My parents were divorced when I was five. I know that family life is not like the Cleavers. But, I can't help but wish that Mom would be here for Christmas. Even for one night.

I have to tell you, I've cried. I've laid awake at night trying to figure how to get my Mom to come over for Christmas Eve (please, no well meaning advice). But ultimately, I am making the choice to have a wonderful Christmas, because there is so much to be thankful for. I can't expect life to be perfect because it just isn't.

So, I will do, as I've always done and will continue to learn doing, is turn my eyes to what is life giving and what sustains me. This Christmas, I turn my heart towards what's true: the love that God has placed in my life, my husband, my child, my friends, and our connected life together.

This season, as TJ makes Christmas cookies for the first time, I am creating a new memory in his life and mine. I am TJ's mom now. It's an incredibly powerful and healing privilege to be his mom, loving him the way I've wanted to be loved as a child. I want to love so that when TJ becomes an adult, he'll always find an open embrace and a warm, inviting home in this momma's heart.

Christmas may be tough to get through, but it's brought out all that I treasure and really cherish to the forefront. Dark times threaten to linger and lurk. But, light and life overcomes that darkness and won't let it swallow me up.

I think I'll take a bite of that gingerbread cookie boy now. He's crumbling, but still sweet. A bit pale, but not burnt. And still waiting to be savored.

Cross-posted at Silicon Valley Moms Blog where Bonnie is a contributing Mom Blogger.

Peachy Tip: Christmas Cookie Sprinkles

Well, it was as wonderful as I imagined it would be. I love baking, and Christmas time is obviously the best time of the year to go crazy with the sweets.

But, having TJ to decorate Christmas cookies with me is the absolutely best treat in my book!

Two year olds and sprinkles can also pose a health hazard, though. 'Cuz mom can get a heart attack seeing all the super micro-sized candy fly and spill all over the table and onto the floor. Especially if you're a super eager, cookie-decorating beaver like me and invite other two year olds to join in the fun.

Today, one of the moms of a two year old girl in TJ's playgroup gave me a life-saver tip. Place the cookies in a pie pan, and it'll catch all the sprinkles and avoid sugar coating your baking sheet and your counter/table! Then, we spatula'd the decorated cookies onto the baking sheet.

It was a super idea and totally worked, avoiding extra sprinkles being baked onto the baking sheet, keeping the cookies clean around the edges and lookin' good.

One disclaimer, though. You can place the cookies to decorate on a plate too. But, as you can see, TJ went full force with double handed action with the sprinkles. So a little bit of mess is absolutely to be expected for your little super eager, cookie-decorating beaver, along with a lot of laughs and a life-time of cherished memories.

Peachy Find: Toddler Boy Books for Chistmas & Anytime Gifts

Okay, so it's down to the wire, and I'm hoping to avoid minute scrambling for Christmas presents. You know, wrapping Christmas gifts and doing Christmas cards always take WAY longer than I intend to. But, I always prioritize getting the gifts that need to be packaged in the mail first.

Now that those presents are on their way in the mail, I can get gifts for the little ones that can be wrapped and handed over in person. Especially if I know a kid loves books, I love giving books as gifts. It's something I know they can turn to time and time again. And it usually means the books will be used for quality time between mommy or daddy with their little one. And of course, it's golden when a parent tells me their little one just LOVES a certain book, that happens to be the one I gave!

Some of my girlfriends have asked me what're TJ's favorite books. Here are his favorites toddler boy books! And for those with toddler or baby girls, please post your favorite toddler or baby girl books. That would help me a lot for gifts with girls!

1. Thomas & Friends: Railway Rhymes by R. Schuyler Hooke
TJ's favorite since he was 2 years old. I don't know why, but he is CRAZY about this book, as us to read it again and again. We can't take reading it more than 3 times, so that's our limit! He loves the rhymes and has already memorized all the different names of the trains. It's a great book because it's perfect size for small hands, has a hard cover, and introduces a different train on each page. A really good value.

2. Tootle by Gertrude Crampton
TJ's favorite since 20 months old. This is classic old-school Little Golden Book. It's is the story of a little train that goes to train school. He loves the idea that trains have to go to school and learn how to stay on the tracks. And it helps TJ when he gets frustrated playing with his trains and they don't stay on the tracks. I tell him, "Remember, the train needs to learn to stay on the tracks. Help him."

3. Chugga-Chugga Choo-Choo by Kevin Lewis
TJ's favorite since 9 months old. There are lots of fun characters and animals and toys
on each page, so there's lots of material to gab about with a baby and a toddler. The colors are bright and beautiful and the text also rhymes, which TJ really took to, even as a baby.

4. The Three Bears by Byron Barton
TJ's favorite since 20 months old. I borrowed several Three Bears story books from the library, but this was the one TJ requested the most. This was hands down my favorite version to read also. I liked it was short, and it also had pictures for each of the lines in the stories (A lot of books only had illustrations for some of the lines).

5. Fischer Price Cars, Trucks, Planes, Trains by Nancy Rindone
TJs favorite since 18months. He LOVES opening all the little flaps and there are tons of little stories on just one page (ones I make up). There are just so many things going, that TJ will even read the book on his own, pointing out all little things I showed him, and having fun opening up the flaps on his own. Even as we attempted potty training, he requested to read this one sitting on the throne!

6. Scuffy by Gertrude Crampton
TJ's favorite since 20 months. Probably because TJ has a toy boat during bathtime, TJ loves this story of a little tugboat who runs (well floats) away from home and the adventures he has going down the creek, that eventually leads to a big ocean. Lots of sights to see along the way, TJ asks this to be read over and over again. In the end, he always gets happy that the man with a polka dot tie finds him and he goes back home!
7. The Happy Man and His Dump Truck by Little Golden Books
TJ's favorite since 20 months. This is a simple story about a man & his dump truck picking up animals along the way. I like reading this to TJ, especially one days that I'm really tired, because it reminds me that simple things like driving even a dump truck (watching kids) is a worthwhile because of the people we love are in it.

8. This is the Stable by Cynthia Cotten
TJ's favorite Christmas story book. For those who celebrate Christmas and are looking for a good Christmas Story Book to read Christmas Eve. I have several and this one is the hands down most requested. I personally love this book because of the art and also the poetry. The story rhymes so I know TJ is drawn to that. Plus, the story is told simply and each illustration is just perfectly simple, beautiful and takes in natural themes. I'm gonna keep this for years to come.

9.Baby's First Bible by Reader's Digest
TJ's favorite Bible since 9 months old. For those who are of the Christian faith, I found this Bible to be the hands-down favorite. From a baby, all the way to being a toddler now, TJ loves this book. I think it's because the illustrations really are adorable, colorful. And the stories are written at his level. And everyone is happy and there are lots of interesting things on each page.

10. Lift-the-Flap Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
TJ's other favorite Bible since 18 months old. As you can tell, I love the lift the flap type books. So, I couldn't leave this list without finishing it with a Lift-the-Flap Bible. Really adorable stories that aren't repeats of the "Baby's First Bible" (#9 of the list). I especially like the story of the Lost Sheep, because TJ likes to look for the sheep and because I like the meaning behind it.

For a one-page view to order any of these books online (one & two day shipping available), just visit my Peachy Finds eStore

Happy, Peachy Reading!

Peachy Tip: My Lopsided Christmas Tree

My Christmas tree started changing last year. I swore I would always have a real Christmas tree in the house. I love the smell of pine mixed with holiday baking in the air.

But, with the introduction of a baby, we didn't want the hassle of taking out pine needles out of our little one's mouth. Plus, I already had my hands full changing diapers, much less remembering to water the tree. So, out with the live tree, in with the fake one, complete with lights already hung!

When it came time to put the Christmas tree up this year, it was only a matter of minutes that it was ready for ornaments to be hung. But since TJ is a walking a toddler this year, I had a new problem. Crash! My ornaments were now at arms length away from TJ's experiments with gravity (yeah, bright light balls to hurl onto the ground!)

I love putting together a well-balanced tree. I even pack my ornaments in the order in which they appear on the tree, so that each year, I get a good balance of ornament balls vs. "knick-knack" ornaments, red and green vs. silver and gold, and of course, my all-time favorites sprinkled in a random fashion around the tree. Maybe it's my way of having some sort of order and control. Beauty and peaceful are words that come to mind when I finish hanging that final ornament.

Not this year. In order to avoid having smashed ornaments splattered on the floor, I'm forced to hang all my ball ornaments on the upper part of the tree. Plus, TJ insists on helping hang ornaments on the tree, and the only ones he can hang are the ones with the stringed loops. That means all the decorations that require hooks have also migrated to the top of the tree. On top of that, only the ornaments that are soft and can safely fall to the floor are the ones that have to line the bottom of the tree.

So, what I have ended up with is a lopsided Christmas Tree. I have to be honest. I am not used to see the tree so disheveled. In fact, throughout the day, I notice the tree looks different each time. You see, TJ loves decorating the tree so much, that he loves taking down the ornaments and rehanging them. So, even when I might have gotten used to seeing the tree a certain way, TJ can get struck with artistic inspiration and the whole thing is tweaked again.

I used to pass my tree and think, "aaaahhh.. nice.." Now, I think, "lopsided tree with balls on top and soft loopy ornaments on the bottom". I know, it was really cute to see TJ hanging ornaments so meticulously. And I know I'm gonna look back fondly on these memories on the first Christmas he'll be away for the holidays. Yeah, one day I'll miss that Lopsided Christmas tree. We'll see.

Cross-posted at Silicon Valley Moms Blog where Bonnie is a contributing Mom Blogger.

Peachy Outing: A Promise Is a Promise

Like batteries found in any one of Todder J's toys, my energy reserves have been running down a bit every day by the little munchkin. Two months shy of his second birthday, TJ dropped his one and only nap of the day. Yes, I've tried EVERYTHING. With his favorite lullabyes playing, I've even regressed to rocking him until he falls asleep, plus another 10 minutes, but to no avail. The minute I start to inch my butt off the glider, TJ whips out of sleep and decries, "ONE MORE SONG!", and clutches me with his death grip.

Every day, for over two months, I repeated this ritual, refusing to accept my fate of no-nap days. "I'm not losing this one easily. Even if it kills me, I'm gonna keep putting him down. And one day, he is gonna cave in and accept his fate of one-nap days." Well, with the holidays in full swing, having to coordinate everything and everybody's calendar, on top of my usual toddler routine, my resolve started waning, white flags waving in my mind.

"TJ," I sighed, one day while feeding him lunch, "Every day, we do the same thing. We eat our lunch, and then it's nap time, right?"

"Go Night-night!" TJ interjects.

"Yes, it's time to go to sleep. Now TJ, for once, can you pleeeaaasse go to sleep?" I begged. I really wasn't expecting TJ to understand what I was saying and respond. I was just talking out loud and kind of comforting myself through self-talk. "You know, if you take a nap, we can do ANYTHING you want. What do you want to do?"

Up to this point, I had tried withholding his favorite snacks, toys, and DVDs on a high shelf. I even lined them up, like hot merchandise, hoping I'd break his will with apple bars, construction vehicles, and Thomas Trains episodes. But, No siree Bob. TJ would even happily report, when I went in to fetch him after no naps, "No snacks, no trucks, no tv!" (silent screams inside me, while I calmly take him out, as to appear unaffected)

"Train. I want to go on a train," TJ flatly stated.

"What? Trains? You want to go on a train?" Fine, I thought. We live a skip, hop, and jump from the Mountain View Cal Train Station, so I quickly said, "Sure, why not?" And quickly cleaned him up, before we missed our nap window.

Well, lo and behold. Half an hour later, I emerge from his bedroom, slowly doing the Scooby & Shaggy creep as I close the door. TJ is sleeping! I jumped around and quietly did my victory dance and fell back on my bed. I was so excited, I couldn't even take the nap I had waited months for. Quickly, I dashed into the shower, so I could take a long hot shower and wash my hair. Aaaaaahhhhh.. finally a break.

Refreshed and relaxed, I checked a few emails and even drank a glass of water. "MMMOOMMEEEEE!! Come get MMEEEEE!" Josh called. Nap time was over.

I happily pranced over and led him to the Shelf for Nap Champions. "Look, TJ! You can have ANY reward you want! What'll it be?" I lightly touched each snack, truck, and DVD, like Vanna on Wheels of Fortune.

"No, I don't want that. I want to go on a train!" Uh-Oh. Really? Did he really remember he said that? Did he really take a nap because he wanted to go on a train? I can't believe that.

"TJ, don't you want to eat your snacks or watch tv? Don't you miss your tv? It's been months!" I gave him his snacks and put on the tv, thinking, "Eh, he'll forget all about the train stuff." How wrong I was.

Next thing I knew, I was rushing to strap TJ in the car, so we can get the train ride over with. I didn't want to break my promise. So, as we boarded the train (it was just pulling in as we walked towards the tracks), I thought, “Oh, good. We made it. We'll just get off at the next train station and hop back on the other train coming back. We'll be back in no time. And I can get dinner ready. After all, I wanted to avoid rush hour!”

Well, little did I know. "Express trains" start before 5 o'clock rush hour. It turns out Express Trains are trains that skip several stops, in order to get passengers North and South of the line as quickly as possible. Out of luck, TJ and I happened to get off on one of these stops that get passed by. I didn't grab a heavy coat as I flew out the door, figuring it would be a quick ride and back.

So, here I was freezing to death, checking out the train schedule station, when this dawns on me. Oh, my gosh. What are we going to do for 40 minutes! I can't believe this is happening! We are at the Sunnyvale Train Station, less than a few minutes by car to where we got on. And we are stuck here. Good thing I had TJ dressed up warmly. Out of routine, put all his layers on before we got in the car. But, I had no diaper bag and no snacks. Nothing. Please, don't poop, TJ, I prayed.

As I started worrying about what to do with a two year old at a train station in mid-60 degree weather, I heard TJ laughing and running through leaves that had fallen from the big clusters of trees around the tracks. "Leaves, Mommy. Look I'm stepping on them!" Crunch, crunch, crunch. Yes! A game!


"Yeah, TJ! Let'ts try to step on all the leaves!" As he ran around, stomping the grounds, I tried to think of another game to kill time and keep us both warm. By the time our train screeched to a stop and boarded our return home, we had played, Collect the Leaves, Find the Biggest Leaves, Find the Smallest Leaf, Try to Catch Mommy, Try to Catch Josh, and Run around the Tree Trunks as Fast as You Can.

Gosh, I must’ve looked CRAZY to all the working, sane people who were lined up, waiting for the train. I wished I could tell them all, “I was actually a working professional for many years. I went to college, had a career and wore nice clothes and shoes just like you. I did not get fired, and I actually chose, out of my own free will, to be a stay-at-home mom.”

That night, when I greeted hubby walking through the door, I couldn’t wait to tell him all about it. I wanted some empathy and some TLC. Instead, hubby laughed and laughed. And gave TJ a high five. “Alright, buddy! You got Mommy to go on a train with you?! Good job!”

Although I definitely got way more than I bargained for when I made the deal with TJ for a nap, I did get a few things out of it. One, a good night’s sleep from all the exercise. Two, some great pictures. Three, I learned two year olds can and will negotiate. And finally, a promise is always a promise. Even if it means going on a train ride that I'll never forget, in more ways than one.

Cross-posted on Silicon Valley Moms Blog where Bonnie is a contributing Mom Blogger.

Peachy Moment: Extreme Breastfeeding: Attempt Only With a LLL Friend

Before I get to deciphering the "LLL" acronym, I have to say that I am writing this post with a lot of scary backflashes. The first four months of being a new mom were hellish for me because breastfeeding was so difficult. I often refer to that dark passage into motherhood as being pushed past my limits, going beyond what I could handle.

It's not that I wasn't prepared to breastfeed. Like a dutiful student, I took a breastfeeding class at the hospital. Within two hours, I could whip that baby doll in a cradle hold, football clutch, and even cross-cradle positions, all within 10 seconds flat. I was pregnant with my first baby when I was thirty-four, so I had witnessed plenty of nursing sessions from girlfriends who had children earlier in life. And because my cheeks felt a bit flushed at the sight of a baby suckle at my friend's boobs, I even went to attend a few La Leche League meetings before my due date, to get acclimated to the whole nursing experience. With nursing children all around me in a kumbaya circle, from newborns up to 3 year olds running over to lift mommy's shirt to "comfort" feed, I was quickly introduced to a community of very experienced women who were hard-core nursing moms.

So, it came as a blow out from left field, when after a very triumphant first nursing session in the delivery room (YES!), that I found myself practically nursing upside down, laying back in my glider. Yes. My husband had to lift and tilt my rocker off the ground and place a couple of big fat pillows on the other end, so that I could nurse, inclined at a 45 degree incline.
"What in the world?!" you say? You see, I had a baby with GER (Gastroesophageal Reflux). Babies with GER have a weakened muscle in the lower esophagus that causes stomach acids splash up into the esophagus, which inflict pain on little ones at each feeding.

Mommy's translation: my baby is screaming and crying 24x7, can't sleep or nap for more than an hour or two because his tummy hurts, which means I can't sleep or nap during that time.. (taking a breath).. and it means cluster feedings from 12am midnight to 4am in the morning and again 1pm-5pm in the afternoon. The worst came at week six, when TJ finally decided to call it quits and refused to nurse!

That is why I refer to what I did as Extreme Breastfeeding. I compare it with extreme snowboarding, a sport that is carried out in extreme terrain. As fate would have it, I was drafted into Extreme Breastfeeding without even a helmet or survival kit. Fortunately, heaven was smiling down on me. I was blessed with THE BEST La Leche Leaugue Coach, Alyson.

Alyson was godsend because she knew the breastfeeding terrain and could talk to me, whether I fell into deep snow of hopelessness or whether I got caught in the rocky gaps of nursing a baby with GER. But, most importantly, she armed me with encouragement and information. She always left it to me to figure out what worked best for me. She motivated and persuaded me to stay the course by passing on lots of data that she researched and dug up for me. With every phone call, she seemed to care more about how I was doing, rather than giving me advice. Alyson lead first with empathy and understanding. I felt safe enough to reveal my raw emotions and fears of failing to meet the demands of extreme breastfeeding.

Here are the top 4 breakthroughs from Alyson that got me through the cliffs and hidden chutes of breastfeeding:

1. Lying Down Position No Go - Alyson was the first mom to see me after I came home from the hospital to help me get the lying down nursing position. This was one position we didn't get to practice in class, but was required for babies who need the flow to be slow. And because Alyson was there, she could observe that the location mother nature chose to put my nipple, did not allow me to stay in the lying down position for an extended period of nursing, which TJ required. What a relief it was to know at least one mom believed me when I said that I couldn't nurse lying down. It helped ease the stress from other well-meaning mom friends who swore I could do it, if I would only keep trying.

2. Overactive Supply/Letdown - Alyson was also the first person to solve the big mystery over why TJ kept pulling away during feedings and ultimately rejected my breast at six weeks. A lot of people, including lactation consultants, thought it was because TJ was just a colicky and "strong-willed" baby. But, Alyson researched and found that my symptoms reflected overactive supply/letdown (aka overproduction of milk). The remedy? It was grueling, but it worked. For each feeding, I had to pump out 1/2 ounce, 20 seconds worth, of the milk out, so that TJ could get the mid and hindmilk, which was much richer and soothing, avoiding the foremilk, which created lactic acid, which aggravated his sensitive tummy.

3. An Avocado a Day Keeps Fussies Away - The pediatrician had given me a long list of gassy and stomach irritating foods to avoid: nothing with gluten (that means no bread or pasta), tomatoes, broccoli,cabbage, cauliflower, beans, eggs and dairy. This prevented inflicting further pain. But, the biggest lifesaver that cured the fussies and extended naps/sleep was introducing healthy fatty oils into my diet, to make my milk extra rich. The same day I ate these foods, hubby and I were able to eat our dinner for the first time with baby sleeping! Without hesitation, thereafter, I ate: a whole avocado (amazing number of ways to eat avocado!), fish oil gels, olive oil on everything, and a serving of flax seed meal as part of my daily regiment until TJ was 6 months.

4. A Friend in Need Is a Friend Indeed - During this difficult time, every day was conflicted with mixed feelings. This was a shock to my system. Because to this engineer by training, I had always felt in control of my feelings. But, with extreme breastfeeding, I was torn between relief and dread. On one hand, I felt, "Good, we know what this is and how to address it. This gives me strength to do the best I can to comfort TJ and just be there for him." The maternal side of me surged.

But, on the other hand, the non-maternal side of me wilted in fear. How can *I* last four months - or six months - or a year (the article said it can last that long)? Even though logically I knew I could do it, I was terrified and didn't want to do it.

This is where Alyson stepped across the threshold of being coach and became my friend. She checked in with me several times during the day and even evenings, even though she had a very young toddler herself. She was there to listen and just ride it out with me. She would send me emails, thinking of new snacks or ideas for meals with my limited choices. She even emailed me anecdotes and stories of her own challenges in mothering. Although she was obviously capable and knowledgeable, she shared her own fears and vulnerable moments as a mom. And that was how I was blessed with a loving, life long friend.

Alyson later moved away to Pennsylvania. And those early newborn months are now a repressed memory. Especially since Alsyon had a second baby, we don't get a chance to talk very much. But, when she came out for a visit a few months ago, we picked up right where we left off. And because of the bond we share in the extreme sport of breastfeeding, Alyson will always be my LLL Friend, a Loving, Life Long Friend.

For more information on GER and Overactive Supply, checkout http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/ger.html and http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBmilksupplyissues.html

Cross-posted on Silicon Valley Moms Blog, where Bonnie is a contributing Mom Blogger.

Peachy Eats: Perfect For Eating Out

Since babies and toddlers are such finicky creatures, it's often been easier to just eat at home. That way, we can pull things out of the fridge that we know baby and toddler can eat.. and throw overboard on our floors.

So, on those nights mom really needs a break, we have a short list of restaurants we head out to that are "Toddler Friendly Approved" (TFA). What's it mean to be TFA in our household?

1) No table service needed. We need our food ready for us to eat within 5 minutes because once we sit down, BAM! the clock starts ticking... (tick, tick, tick, tick)

2) Kid-friendly Menu. We need foods that baby and toddler can eat. This means no msg, 100% natural and no artificial what-not. Plus, the food needs to be easily handled and picked up by little hands and fingers still learning to eat.

3) Low background noise that's not so loud our child will freak out and annoyed, but not so quiet that every word I say to Toddler J is being witnesses by all the diners. And trust me, in one meal, there are hundreds of short commands/cajoling/negotiating/disciplining that are issued to TJ, which would for sure drive everyone crazy (I even tire myself out from all the talking by the end of the meal!).

4) Friendly to food thrown overboard. We need to go eat out at places where we don't get the evil eye for all the lovely food art our little one leaves on the floor.

So, here's our top 3 list of TFA approved eat outs:

1. Chiplotle.
What we order: Small Cheese Quesdilla with Carnitas added. This does NOT show up on the menu, so we found out about this because we had asked the manager what we could order for kids. They do not have a kids menu.
Why we like it: The cheese quesadilla is small enough for TJ to hold and because there is cheese, it stays stuck together & nothing falls out. Plus, the meat is natural pork without hormones or antibiotics. He doesn't get veges with this meal, but I usually have steamed carrots that I take along with me from our fridge. Plus, if he misses one meal without veges, it's not the end of the world. btw, high chairs are available and plentiful.
Word of Warning: Do not order chicken with the quesadilla. We made that mistake because the chicken is marinated with spicy chiptle -- and TJ was screaming with the fist bite!

2. Baja Fresh.
What we order: Chicken, cheese Burrito. BF has a Kids Menu, so the burrito comes with milk, rice and appleauce.
Why we like it: The burrito is kids size, so TJ can hold and eat it easily. There's also rice, so in case he's not into the burrito, we can get some rice in him. He likes having his own kid sized carton of milk and can scoop out the applesauce all by himself (well sort of.. get your big bib ready!)
Word of Warning: We don't order the burrito with beans because it gets too bulky. If your child doesn't like meat, then you could substitute beans. The milk carton is also the old fashioned kind, so if your little one likes to play and open up stuff, you may want to bring a sippy cup to pour the milk in. Otherwise, the burrito might end up in a milk bath.

3. Panera Bread.
What we order: Kids menu - Grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes and turkey added. The kids menu just has the grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwich options. But, I asked to have turkey and slices of tomatoes added and it was no problem. It also comes with yogurt, and a sqeeze yogurt (both horizon organic). I ordered an apple with my sandwich, which TJ happily took a bit of, too.
Why we like it: TJ scarfed down this grilled cheese sandwich. They cut the sandwich so that two triangles appeared and he thoguht that was fun to eat. The sandwich stayed stuck to gether well, along with the turkey and tomatoes, so it held together well. So, he got his milk, cheese, vege, meat and cart in one meal! Lots of high chairs available and plentiful.
Word of Warning: You will be tempted to get a pastry after your lunch, so hurry, grab one before that little timer runs out and says "Mommy!!!"

Happy eating!

Peachy Moment: A Morning Back to Myself

Every year, when it got close to my birthday, usually a month before, I'd start planning for my own birthday. I had kinda gotten used to figuring out how to celebrate my birthday on my own because I had grown up in a family culture that didn't really celebrate birthdays. And although I had friends in college that helped me blow out my candles, I had a very long stretch of singlehood, up until I got married in my early thirties. I have gotten really good at figuring out how best to enjoy spending time alone on my special days.

Sometimes, I would prefer a more quiet and reflective way of marking a new year ahead, like driving out to the city to a favorite bakery for a yummy pastry and journal highlights for the year. Other times, I'd get up early, pack a nice sandwich and apple in my backpack, and drive out to my favorite spot for a day hike.

But, that was in the past, before I was a Mom, before I had a husband. Now, it seemed weird to ask for a day off and spend it all by myself. For one thing, I've gotten used to having hubby around, to order the other muffin that I couldn't decide between, not to mention being my captive audience for sentimental birthday thoughts. The bigger challenge though, is that hubby and I no longer have the luxury of just jumping out of bed, and deciding, "Hhhhmm.. what would we like to do today?".

With a two year old toddler, everything has to be planned to a "T". Before we can even begin to try finding a babysitter, we have to figure out where we'd go, how long it would take, and figure out which activity/location/restaurant. And then, after lots of back and forth on what would be best, given our constraints, we would cross our fingers as we go down the short list of babysitters to call.

Well, two months after TJ was born, it was birthday. Babysitters? Forget it. TJ was one of the 5% of babies who had acid reflux and cried literally 24x7. I was happy to get my husband to take the day off, to care for baby while I napped. And for my birthday dinner, take-out Japanese never tasted so good! (I was such a hot meal snob prior to TJ, with my "no take-out" policy). Amazing how quickly some policies are thrown happily overboard with motherhood!

Okay, next year rolled around, and TJ became a 1 year old. This time, we did get a babysitter, and we went out nearby to enjoy a nice, quiet dinner. No long drives to the city. We wanted to get back in time to go to bed early enough to get decent sleep (gosh, I can't believe I just said that. Me? The perpetual night owl, who loved making 8 o'clock dinner reservations. Now, I'll faint if I don't get food in by 7pm.). I felt euphoric to sit at a restaurant and eat my food while hot. I couldn't have been a happier birthday girl.

Now, this year, having recovered from serious sleep deprivation, I have surfaced. How do I know? Last month, as I was thinking about my birthday, I got that ol' lovin' feeling again. I wanted to be out. During the day. Where I could feel the sun, smell the air, and see the clouds. And I wanted to have a quiet, slow coffee with pastry at a favorite bakery. The old Bonnie was back. The Bonnie that was not mommy. The Bonnie from yesteryears.

I was a bit shocked that I was still there. After a haggard week of failed potty training, I felt like a run-of-the-mill mom. Tired, head full of worries, behind on my laundry, and a grocery list that was just too long.

But, as hubby and I drove along Hwy 280 to The Woodside Bakery, I started getting excited at the prospect that my strawberry cream cheese filled pastry was waiting there for me. Hey, why didn't I think of this earlier? We have scheduled our date nights out for night time only. This is MUCH better. Early in the morning, before we're too tired. It was fun to go out and enjoy a long coffee and pastry. I patted my purse to make sure I had my pen and paper with me, to jot down my birthday thoughts. Yes. It's there.

After an extended, relaxing time at the bakery in early morning light (yes, my strawberry pastry wasn't sold out yet!), we started the drive to the Half Moon Bay State Beach, taking the long way there. Going up Hwy 84, we cut across to take a drive along Skyline Boulevard, and I actually giggled as the turns sometimes got scary.


Finally, as I stood there on the sand, at the Half Moon Bay State Beach, with the crisp air whipping up around me and the ocean spray crashing with up onto its waves, I no longer wondered whether the old Bonnie who has entered Motherhood was only a memory. I was back, although changed and different. I hugged hubby and thought quietly to myself. Thank God for this morning back to myself.